Greetings. Thanks for being here. Again.
We are gathered here today to remember a hockey team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, and its truly remarkable era of non-success (2016-25). On Sunday night, they died as they had lived over the past nine years, showing enough promise that they were “different” to draw everyone in before imploding in spectacular fashion in the biggest moments of their season.
(Official cause of death this time: mauled by Panther.)
Though these Leafs are now gone, they will always live on in our hearts, remembered not-all-that-fondly for winning a ton of regular-season games, piling up individual accolades (and cap hits), and coming up small whenever a true showing of determination and fortitude was needed.
May…