How to keep the relationship started at school? We talked about this with a clinical psychologist, head of the women’s club “Lantern” Tatiana Dil.
According to her, any relationship is its own story, and a long-term relationship is a whole cosmos of feelings from childhood love to mature partnership.
– In daily communication, spouses may encounter difficulties, – Tatiana emphasizes. – With emotional burnout, for example, the main sign of which, in addition to irritability, feelings of guilt, resentment, is a lack of love for a husband or wife. It manifests itself by the fact that you want to run away from home and “so that my eyes don’t see you.” Here you need to shift the focus of attention from your partner to the world around you, your needs and desires. For a man, it is fishing, hunting, football, intellectual games. For a woman – communication with friends or in a woman’s circle. Of course, over the years, such couples accumulate claims and grievances. It is important to be sincere and honest, to talk about your feelings. And it is also useful to remember the state of love, to see only the positive in a partner.
The specialist notes that the monotony, everyday routine addictive. In this case, a new experience (dancing, photography) and pleasant family traditions (traveling together) are needed.
“Realize what you have dreamed of for a long time, and let your partner take part in this,” says Tatiana Dil. – The coach of the women’s club “Lantern” Irina Kargapolova believes that it is important to maintain a romantic relationship: “Romance should be deliberate, real and on schedule. Time spent together creates and sustains love, happiness. Take 15 minutes daily for yourself and hold hands. Go on dates with each other, play your wedding again! Hug 10 times a day, because hugs heal! “
Photo from personal archive
Do you believe in love at first sight and the longevity of relationships?
Some couples successfully pass the test of time and live in perfect harmony for many years until the golden wedding. Others get divorced quickly, having lived together in a “chintz” year. Some of them got out and got married out of seemingly great love and swore that forever. We decided to ask our respondents if they believe in love at first sight and that feelings can last for many years.
Ekaterina Manaeva, deputy of the Orsk City Council:
– I believe in love at first sight, I don’t recognize another. Each of us finds our soul mate in the crowd, as they say, by smell. Everything happens on a subconscious level, and sometimes you can’t even explain why you chose someone. But you look at the person and realize that he is yours. Then you start to look closely at his actions. And even if the love itself passes, the sympathy remains. I still remember my first school love, it was a secret, because the young man was dating another girl.
Grigory Poltavsky, physical education teacher at school number 50:
– Feelings can be carried through the years. I believe that love rules the world. But as for the first one … Over the 15 years of work at school, I have observed many couples who began to build relationships in the eighth and tenth grades. Only one reached marriage. Therefore, I am wary of first love at a young age. You never need to rush, everything will be in time. Relationships must pass the test of time. You need to love a person for actions, deeds, and not just for beautiful words. My wife and I met at the institute, we have been together for 20 years, we have three children, I don’t want the other half.
Natalia Pavlenko, press attaché of HC “Sarmati”:
– I don’t believe in love at first sight. It is rather a passion or passion, but in order to really fall in love, you need to get to know a person and his inner world. Only then will you understand whether you are ready to accept him with all the “cockroaches” or is it better to admit that at first glance he seemed different and the love was gone. About love for many years … I am very glad that there are couples in my environment who carried feelings and reverent attitude towards each other through the years. Looking at them, I want to believe that I can do that too.
Yuri Dekker, artistic director of the Vstrecha Theater-Studio:
– I am moved by elderly couples who walk holding hands. How can you not believe in the longevity of love? It is difficult to carry it through the years, but for this, everyone in a relationship must sacrifice something, reveal their inner world to their partner. Then love will pass all tests. Now, alas, young people are very confused by digital technologies and love is often perceived as a game, easily changing partners. As for love at first sight, for me creative love is more acceptable.