How to stop being a comfortable woman and not offend anyone – Psychology

When you learn to say “No”, life will sparkle with new, bright colors.

Olesya Knyazeva

December 6, 2022 12:21 pm

Don’t forget about your life

Screenshot: film frame

To hand over a report for a colleague, to sit with a friend’s child, not to reproach her husband for forgetting about the anniversary … It seems that this is care and the desire to please loved ones. But step by step, the fear of offending, the desire to please brings you into the position of a comfortable woman. The one whose opinion does not need to be considered at all, which will not refuse, even if it is completely inconvenient for her to fulfill the request.

How to stop being comfortable, especially if you are afraid to offend others?

It is important to remember that everyone has personal boundaries. You respect others, but others forget about yours. Defending your boundaries is not at all a reason for resentment, and if this happens, then they are cleverly trying to manipulate you.

The other person’s mood cannot be your responsibility. It’s not easy to accept, but it’s necessary. Only in this way can you learn to refuse, start taking care of your own interests and become noticeably happier.

Try these 4 steps to stop being comfortable

Write down your strengths and qualities

A self-confident person is much easier to defend their boundaries. Understand why you are worthy of respect and love and without the desire to please everyone.

Say “No”

Try to refuse at least minor requests. You will be surprised to find that people do not take offense at you, and life will sparkle with new colors.


The more hobbies and hobbies you have, the easier it is to refuse: you simply won’t have time to do someone else’s work, care about the opinions of others and please everyone.

Work through childhood trauma

Cold parents are one of the reasons for the desire to be comfortable and please everyone. If in childhood you received approval and love only when you were obedient, inconspicuous, fulfilled all requests, such behavior is fixed as the only true one.

To overcome such a scheme, you will have to work through childhood trauma. You may be able to do this yourself, while others will require the help of a professional.

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