Why Thinking About Your Ex Can Be Good for Your Relationship

Updated: 22.12.2022 – 22:05

About being close to exes
Why Thinking About Your Ex Can Be Good for Your Relationship

Foto: Getty Images / Westend61

Is she thinking about her ex again…?? A study has now found out why this can even have a positive effect on the current relationship.

So far, research has highlighted rather negative effects on couples when it comes to being close to ex-partners. A recent study says: Thinking about your ex can strengthen the current relationship!

Lovingly reminiscing about happy times with previous partners might have benefits: These are the surprising findings of a recent study. However, this is not quite as general as it appears when you first read it. You can find out here why thoughts about your ex strengthen your current relationship.

Study: Thinking about your ex can be good for your current relationship

Admittedly, it might seem a bit strange at first that reflecting on nostalgic moments shared with a previous partner can definitely help couples get along better. The conventional wisdom up to now is rather the opposite – especially when a person in a relationship also admits that they were thinking about their ex…

Psychologists at the University of Kansas set out to find out if there might be benefits to lovingly remembering happy times with loved ones. They asked 167 men and women to take part in three separate studies measuring the impact of such thoughts on their current relationships.

In one, the volunteers were asked to first read through posts on a website where people anonymously shared memories of past happy relationships. Then they should think back to similar beautiful moments themselves. They were then asked to answer questions including: “How satisfied are you with your current relationship? How much do you love your current partner?”

Memories of the past evoke the “positive aspects of romantic relationships”.

The results show that the highest score was obtained after subjects were encouraged to recall past partners during happy times. But why is that? The researchers said they were convinced that the end of a relationship had a positive impact on people’s self-confidence and maturity. This, in turn, makes her appreciate her current partner even more.

In addition, the scientists* stated in a press release to Protikoll: “Loving nostalgic memories of past relationships remind people of the positive aspects of romantic relationships. They found that this led to an increase in the perceived quality of current partnerships. Such memories could be the favorite song or the favorite film of ex-partners* are triggered.

However, there is one limitation: This positive effect probably only occurs in relationships that ended amicably and in the distant past. Because “if the breakup of the previous relationship was too painful, people tend to resist remembering nostalgic moments,” according to the researchers.

That means: the longer a past relationship was and the better the couple at that time broke up, the more memories of the ex can actually have a positive effect on the current one relationship have because the good thoughts are transferred to the current partner. Good to know!

More about the Study in English read here.

Unfortunately, there are also ex-partners who cannot let go and resort to inhumane means: Stalking – when love turns into madness. And how do you actually learn that? Letting go to move forward after the breakup?

And there is also this: Are you also addicted to a kryptonite man??

Do it like this with ex-partners and former partnerships: What we learn from each relationship for the next.

And it can work like this: My ex’s new girl is my best friend!

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